Resentment

I’m angry. It’s inspiring, and for the first time in a while, I feel the need to convey a message. I have something to share. I don’t want to write anything humorous or cheerful, not a sarcastic rant or to complain about the (crap) situation that I still find myself in. I want to be dead serious.

I’d like to explain my thoughts on betrayal; that awful, selfish and traitorous thing that most people do their best to stay clear of. It is the reason behind trust issues. An action that ruins friendship forever. A recipe for loss and self-alienation. Causes a let-down that makes forgiveness unthinkable. 

Believing in the good in people is a great ability. The willingness to forgive, and the patience to offer second chances, should be desirable. Instead, people confuse it with naivety and weakness. Perhaps because it tends to backfire. People like you make it pointless to even try. You make it seem that all you’ll ever get by trusting, hoping, believing and forgiving, is a kick in the face.

Betrayal is loyalty’s evil cousin. Loyalty ought to be valued highly. It is the complete opposite of betrayal, and in my eyes, also the core and the foundation of most positive things in our lives. We make friends, meet lovers, share secrets, create ideas, collaborate and give support, and it’s all built upon loyalty. When loyalty goes out the window, it’s time to buckle up and prepare for a stab in the back. Secrets become rumours, ideas are stolen, friendships end.

A fall-out should not annul vows of confidentiality, happy memories or previous respect. I firmly believe that one should always honour what was once appreciated. Clearly, I crossed paths with a person who disagrees. Was it all pretend or do you not realise the consequences of your actions? Do you lack common decency or simply not care about who you step on? It hurts to be thrown under the bus by somebody you trusted. More than that, it makes me furious. How can honesty, love, friendship, loyalty, respect and morals be so foreign to somebody that giving it to them is a waste?

I make a conscious effort of staying true to my morals in conflicting situations. But when faced with one of the saddest disappointments and worst betrayals of my life, I reserve the right to let it be a source of inspiration. I hope you read this and regret what you’ve done. I hope you grow up. Realise that what you thought you would gain from this, is eventually going to backlash. Remember I used to tell you that every situation has a winner and a loser? Yep. Guess who.