List of dislikes, vol. 3
Ok, here we go again. It's been a while since I last had a proper rant. (Actually, I just checked, and I'm a year older since I wrote the previous List of Dislikes, AAAHHHH FAIL!) I think it's about time. It seems the world, my world, is full of things I really don't like very much.
- Number one. The ultimate dislike, the quintessence of my misery. I'm living somebody else's life. Seriously, this isn't how it was meant to pan out!? I was meant to be running around for 15 hours a day in some buzzing newspaper or magazine office by now, and instead I spend my days wiping snot. Bless.
- Drama. Certain characters need to chill the fuck out. Pretty cryptic, this one, but as a true journalist I obviously try to protect my sources. (Nora, come home.)
- I can't remember the last time I didn't wake up to a hurricane raging outside. The wind is driving me mad. Last Saturday, I actually got up in time to do my hair properly. Made it all wavy and lovely, and even dusted off some hair pins to make a little 'do. COMPLETE waste of time. Within minutes, I looked like a 40-year-old scarecrow.
- Being underestimated. I might enjoy doing my nails and carry my laptop around in a pink Marc Jacobs bag, but that doesn't mean I'm too girly to be clever. I know what's going on. Always. Besides, when my nails are on point, my life is on point.
- The fact that the following things don't exist: Charge-free phones, calorie-free chocolate, a law against leggings worn as trousers, nice airport staff, world-wide wifi, pain-free waxing, a mirror function for iPhones, bubble-resistant wool, a shut-up machine, smudge-free makeup, Hermione's handbag, an english word for "skadefro".
- People who come to my home and ring the door bell. I mean, if you have my phone number, normal decency would be to give me a ring, and if you don't, there's a reason. Although I always try to ignore the door bell, my curiosity gets the better of me every time. I unlock the door and press down the handle as life flashes before my eyes. I picture rapists, axe murderers and zombies, and regret that I had to die so soon. I close my eyes as I open the door and who's there...? Bloody Jehova's Witnesses.
- And finally... As with the expression "in this day and age", I could make a separate list of shit people say that gives me brain freeze. For example "at the end of the day" or "at this moment in time". What a waste of breath! However, if you're one of the people who go about your day saying the word "literally" out of context whenever you have a second, you ought to seriously reconsider your life.