So I was drinking with Caroline. Not drinking-drinking, just catching up over a glass of wine, really. When A Man Loves A Woman came on, and we both went silent for a minute. As if to pay respects to all heartbroken females out there. To be fair, it's a perfectly normal romantic ballad, but if there was ever a song suitable for sobbing into a glass of red wine in your PJs like Bridget Jones, this is the one.
Me: "There are no men. Anywhere."
Caroline: "I know, they hide during winter."
Me: "You have a boyfriend..?"
Caroline: "Not since GTA 5 launched. They're either sitting in front of a screen somewhere, or skiing in the mountains. You should go on a man hunt in the mountains!"
I like Caroline's theory. She's right. During the summer months, they're everywhere. Tank tops, brown skin, you know the story. However, I don't think they go to the mountains to hang out. I think they escape to a deserted island somewhere. Like that island in Lost. As the cold creeps in, they follow the birds to this hot, sunny island. All the tall, broad-shouldered, funny men with white teeth, high ambitions and great morals. Those who can hunt their own food and have got the brains to cook it after, they're all there. The well-mannered and educated men who know that a bad excuse won't cut it. Those who dress nicely and shower everyday, who pop by the gym on their way home from a well-paid and demanding job. There are no cases of mental disorders on the island. Or any other disorders for that matter. Seriously, just picture Ryan Gosling in shorts and shades, catching his own dinner with a bow and arrow. Mhm. I read a piece in the paper the other day about men who travel to France to attend enrichment courses to get back in touch with their manhood. Those men would not be welcome on the island, I don't think. They're the less fortunate mates who have been left behind, here with us. With me. Seriously, I'm convinced.
But believe it or not, I'm not complaining. Because there's something about a candle, a bottle and a girlfriend. Girls text back, they participate in conversations, and they like wine. We can easily create our own everyday magic to spice up a freezing cold October evening, even without a man in sight.